Interview with Rabiotmachia – Contrasti Magazine
The best Twitter account that worships Rabiot, prefers hilarity and dates from 2067.
Rabiotmachia is like an oasis in the desert of alignment and all the same opinions. The source of superior wisdom, the ultimate prophet of Adrien Rabiot’s cheerfulness and will for power. We thank him for granting us an interview.
We won’t ask who you are because a lot of your attraction lies in your mystery. However, can you tell us how and when you came up with this crazy idea of creating? a Twitter account dedicated to Adrien Rabiot?
Oh, in the meantime, good evening dears and good evening to the entire Contrasti editorial team. Actually, I think the idea is the same for everyone: you log on to Twitter to catch the news, you see the surface of a parallel universe in the distance, you decide to enter it, and you get sucked in. At that time nicknames with combinations of players and suffixes were very popular and Rabiotmachia was: a constant struggle to bring the duke back to where he deservesneoclassical tone and reference to the Guastardo of the gigantic De Luigi.
Obviously, Rabiotmachia is much more: above all, blind and almost dogmatic faith for Massimiliano Allegri, to the detriment of everything that distances itself from it (Sarri and gambling, for example). Will you try to explain in two lines where this vision of the world comes from?
Although I faltered a few times, the constant belief in the happiness and in the figure of Massimiliano Allegri is the constant of my profile and, of course, of my life. Starting from the pure football side, Allegri’s demiurgic approach to football is, as you rightly say, one of blind faith and dogmatism rather than increasingly rational support. The original nature of football is random and fatalistic. We are talking about a complex system that can never be completely controlled and whose immaterial component can never disappear: it is what is called the “grey suit” in the word of our Lord. It’s very simple precisely because it’s too complex. It is antifragility, patience and lightness. Maybe I’ll come back later, maybe not. There’s always Twitter.
I love Sarri like that grumpy uncle who sends you out to fuck all year and shows up on your birthday with the gift you’ve wanted all your life. He gives me the aura of a real person and a Scudetto made me celebrate that. On Twitter, it’s just a format that never tires, like insulting Milinkovic-Savic. Giochismo, belgioco, and other fanciful made-up expressions only serve to enforce dichotomies and sell a few more copies diary. Rather, we are talking about a growing group of coaches who base their vision of football on the totalitarian care and preparation of movements, excursions, schemes and interpretations.
Which I appreciate and respect until those same trainers are passed off as such Martyr Savior of Football, the ONLY Football, from GOOD to EVIL: Here, too, according to the word of our Lord, “balance is necessary”. Coming back to us, in my opinion they remain “fragile” contexts if they are not applied obsessively. To master billions of variables in an almost technical way, you have to be a psychopath or you risk breaking the clock. Guardiola ruined a generation.
Let’s also talk about the scariest side of your account: le prophecies. How do you guess so many scenarios with almost mathematical precision?
If you look at reality without prejudice and remove it from context, you will be surprised at how linear it is. It’s a kind of narrative omniscience. And lots of ass (although, as I keep repeating when I bring it up for RE CARLO Ancelotti, the ass is episodic and never systematic).
Have you ever thought about creating other accounts similar to Rabiotmachia? If they put a gun to your head and forced you to do it, what would you do?
Rabiotmachia is a unique path with horizontal and vertical internal textures. Anyone who was there from the start knows: I started with the aim of bringing Adrien Rabiot back to where he deserved it. When I arrived here in late 2021, my son was included in the same speeches as Arthur, Ramsey and Bernardeschi. Unacceptable for a player at this level. A majestic work of propaganda was undertaken, simultaneously creating and enhancing the myth of Duke crazy horse and sank the counterparts. Besides propaganda, it’s an account I use as a creative outlet and to write down all the crap I think. And to drive insane those who want to go insane. What if they put a gun to my head? I would show that I actually have more than one other account, both well known. Then I would pull the trigger.
After Allegri comes Mou, right?
Mou is a giant. The Special One adds the CR7 component to the wonderful and always same discourses about Anti-Calcium™: bet on yourself first by screaming first and then winning. He won and won again: The Word speaks to us of “categories”.
Ballon d’Or nominee Adrien Rabiot: how long do we have to wait?
I have to work hard for the candidacy, but until they find Messi kneeling in a banlieue. I’m afraid it’s impossible for us and for every other player.
What would a possible Napoli victory in the Champions League mean for Rabiotmachia?
Disappearance, anonymity and a long wait for death in exile in Hammamet.