The nerd goes so far as to lay hands on us

The other night, when I saw (and pitied) our Italietta, as delicate as a breadstick, liquidated without too much trouble by Perfida Albion – let’s stop “The reaction/dominance of the second half“, leading to the number of shots: one –, and before the awkward curtain after the game with poor Retegui, the new national hope, who could not understand the interviewer’s question in Italian and forced her to switch to Spanish, arrives here’s a sudden and unexpected final soccer lesson: “Julian Nagelsmann fired by FC Bayern Munichin his place Thomas Tuchel”.

The first thing I did was open the fridge and uncork a gorgeous blonde to celebrate. The second, to retrace some passages that – I have to be honest – I had missed the last few days in Bavaria, such as the recent proto-mutiny in the dressing room. While browsing, I discovered this at Bayern Munich there was a mole, who was guilty of snapping some photos with the tactical instructions in view of the game against Bochum and that Nagelsmann – on the eve of the game against Leverkusen – had posed in front of the cameras annoyed to say the least; publicly accusing the mole, wondering how it “looked in the mirror” and declaring:

“Why? I don’t think there is an economic aspect behind it, because it seems difficult to me that Bild pays 500,000 euros for this information. If who made this gesture think you hurt me ok, but know that it also harms all players ».

So the loss to Leverkusen and the lost Bundesliga primacy at the expense of Borussia Dortmund but overall an atmosphere a bit like the Ides of March (that was the time after all) in the dressing room where maybe the conspiracy happened they didn’t, she was so isolated. Well, what can I tell you… Hallelujah!. They are still alive in Monaco, I stopped hoping for them. Obviously it’s not a question of results: the top of the Bundesliga is just a point away and the roadmap in the Champions League with 8 wins from 8 games, 21 goals scored and only 2 goals conceded (against PSG, Barcelona and Inter caliber opponents) . , is objectively impressive. Instead, it’s about management.

It’s pointless to keep repeating yourself: in certain circles – especially Juventus, Bayern, Real Madrid – it’s not enough that a coach is good, maybe even the best; First, he needs to know how to immerse himself in the environment and lead the team. Otherwise it ends like between Sarri and Juventus (and who actually won a Scudetto), with Cristiano Ronaldo not showing up at tactical exercises and the mutiny of the senators. In other words, can you see De Zerbi replicate Brighton’s great mechanics at Manchester United or go to Real and tell Benzema who to press or how to move?

Just as Nagelsmann Lewandowski explains and provokes offensive movements the reaction Polish piccata in training: “I set the goal record, not you“. How to blame him. In certain circles it reignsTo Ancelot school: “He knows what to do”, to quote Carletto himself in reference to Benzema. Individuals before assignments, champions before plans. And luckily, at least until the men get out of the locker rooms – it’s almost time, guess what – things are still that way, and nerds have to wait for their starved revenge (in tactics) alive.

The dismissal must have been a shock for them, who had already started doing autoerotic exercises on Julian Nagelsmann’s 3-2-5 for some time: the laptop trainer for excellence”,the nerdy trainer‘, as Sky Sport also defined it – so don’t tell us it’s just us. Nagelsmann is one of them, a brilliant nerd who made it, grew up snacking and football manager who dreams of it remote control Soccer player on the field with headphones e Wake up his wife screamed the names of the players in her sleep. With its 1000 screens and tablets you want to throw them out the window.

In short, the best possible agent that i tactical freaks (never been a footballer, just like Julian, who has never played a game among professionals) could dream.

So pretentious, by his own admission, that he had to go to one horse trainer (?) to sound more forgiving: «So often people found me extremely arrogant. To solve the problem I thought of contacting a horse trainer. Why? Simple: they are not judgmental creatures, they react to your aura. When you enter a stable and the horses move away from you, it means that you have to change something in your posture, in your attitude. It is obviously true that I presented myself as domineering, authoritarian, and arrogant to those who interacted with me». Mmm, ok. Judging by the developments and the conspiracy, it doesn’t seem to have worked.

The truth, dear aspiring scientists, football nerds who stayed in class during physical education classes to study, in Monaco is historical – even in recent years – that Manager: Jupp Heynckes, whose Bayern, very German, almost interfered in his domain, and Hans-Dieter Flick, an internal helper who took over the Croatian Kovac, who had also broken with the dressing room. Even someone like Guardiola was rejected here as a foreign body, which, although it did rally some of the Bundeswehr, also led to deep environmental resentment.

Pep, who will now face Thomas Tuchel in just over a week: the same one who had him defeated and is in the Champions League final 2021, with the very compact and deadly German Chelsea restart. Perhaps Professor Pep would have preferred the student Nagelsmann to the independent Tuchel, a versatile coach and with benches already behind him and heavy victories. But of course we will only find out by seeing.

In the meantime, however, in the progressive uprooting, which affects everyone to a certain extent and which, as a big fan of FC Bayern Munich, Martin Heidegger, has meanwhile expressed “world fate”, up to the extinction at home, Bayern, he reacted in his own way, with its incomprehensible but always recurring logic. Eat the trainerwhen it gets too fat. So many have complained about the “real reasons” the exemption, amid the aftermath of the break with Neuer and Lewandowski, the senators’ impatience with training methods and ethical-ecological resistance.

Certainly, as Nagelsmann himself liked to repeat, the motto “Mia san mia” prevails there: we are us, forever. ontologically different. Perhaps that is why successful revolutionaries are not remembered in this historically conservative and Catholic country Bavaria. A land of tradition, who will always prefer old blondes in a nice cup to young blondes with a hundred laptops, no matter how brilliant. Also, have you ever seen Nagelsmann with a Hofbräu in hand?

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